The Mindset- Miss Guides
Let me tell you a little about the mindset miss - guides:
We are all guilty of negative self talk, and self negative behaviour, so I have put together this handy little guide to show you, it doesn't have to be this way, you are all magick sparks and capable of doing amazing things.
I believe it is important to focus on the positves, and that this starts from birth, positive self talk, positve conversations with family & friends, being listened to, having space to follow your dreams, having space to deal with your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
How to overcome your inner mind monkey, your negative self talk,self negative behaviour, perfectionism, and getting in your own way.
We all have that little inner voice, the self critic, that inner mind monkey, who isnt really aligned with what our heart and souls want, with what we truly want from our lives, with hat our heart knows of us.
You know the one, that inner mind monkey voice that sits on our shoulder and says "you can't do that" "who do you think you are to do that" "your not good enough"
The one who lets your mind wander to thoughts and feelings of overwhelm, not wanting to be around, not feeling loved, or self love, not feeling worth it.
You know the one we allow to speak to us like that, and the one we let hold ourselves back from ever taking those first steps towards our dreams, and the lives we want.
Do you recognise any of your struggles, fears, negative thoughts, or feelings from the list below?
Here are a few of the most common ways, we allow us to talk to ourselves, and to get in our own way!
Her inner voice.... You have got to be 100% perfect, and the best in whatever you are going to do, you have to set your standards high, no compromises, you cannot show any fear, you cannot allow yourself to show that you are vunerable, scared or nervous.
You cannot show people the real you, you know the you thats on the inside, the soft centered heart of you, as people won't want to see that, they won't like to see that your not perfect all the time, or that your service, or business isn't perfect all the time.
You need to show the outside shell of you, you know the one, the harder shell and the version you think you need to show to the world, the hard shell that does not reveal ho your really feeling or who you truly are, you feel you need to show the world and those around you, that you are coping, that things in life or business are always perfect, and that your not wasting anyone's time.
The effect this has on you...
You are constantly comparing yourself to everyone else, you have unrealistic expectations of yourself, and you put so much pressure on yourself to get everything 100% right always.
You spend way to much of your time procrastinating, and second guessing yourself and your decisions, and you feel the need to be in control of everything.
Let me tell you a secret! ..... Done with grace, is always better than perfect, and a flower still blooms even if it's pouring with rain, or the earth is dry, bloom my lovely, your time is now.
The Safe Girl:
Her inner voice: The don't you dare step outside of your comfort zone girl, The you can't do it girl, you'll only fail so why try girl.
The don't want to get hurt, embarrased, stay where it's safe girl, the be a good girl and the please everyone else girl, who does what others want, and does what others say girl.
The you're a fraud , not qualified yet, not experienced enough girl, the girl who seeks everyones approval before doing anything.
The girl who doesn't speak up, and the girl who keeps a low profile because shes scared.
The effect this has on you:
You constantly play small, and you keep yourself and your dreams small, you don't ever go after what it is you truly want and desire in love, life and business, you wait, and you hold yourself back.
You always look for the answers outside of yourself and you seek approval from others, you lack self belief, self conviction and self confidence in yourself, and you don't have any clear direction for your life or business, so you constantly go round in circles.
Let me tell you a secret!.... You my lovely are good enough, experienced and qualified enough! no one ever said trying wasn't hard, or that you wouldnt fail, but that's half the fun, to try is better than to never have tried at all, you don't ever need anyone else's permission to rewrite your own story, or to be true to you.
Her inner voice: You tell yourself you must work harder to prove yourself, to prove you have what it takes to be a sucess, you work longer hours so you can get more done in a day, and you never stop, as there is always more thats needs doing.
You tell yourself, you can't waste any time, that every second is precious and you need to just get this next thing finished, so you and your personal life, your family, friends etc will just have to wait, as you are to busy.
You tell yourself you don't need anyone else, that you have to do this alone, you must be strong and carry one.
The effect this has on you:
Working 24 hours a day, seven days a week, can and will make you feel overwhelmed, exhausted, lonely, and empty.
You will become obsessed with your work, and you will become obsessed with the constant need to just finish that one more thing, to just make this last little thing perfect, and to prove that you alone can do this.
You can and will if you're not careful, lose yourself, your sense of fun, your passion for your work, and your family and friends, as they will become bored of hearing, I can't i'm working.
Let me tell you a secret!... yes you have your dreams, yes you have your goals and plans, but non of this matters if you don't have your soul, your health, your passion and your family, friends or loved ones, and you are burnt out from exhaustion or overwhelm.
This is why I created my three pillars of self, to make sure you have solid foundations to loving yourself first before giving to anything else, you cannot give from an empty vessel.
Miss Must Please Everyone Else:
Her inner voice: You always give to everyone else first, you always do things, and put others before your needs, you deal with everyone else's trauma, dramas and everything else in between, before yourself.
You do what everyone expects of you, and what society expects, so you don't let you be true to yourself, you don't let anyone see your dreams, or the real heart and soul of you, your wants, your vision for your life.
So you carry on being who others want you to be, you say what others want to hear, and you feel how you think others want you to feel in order to fit in, so you won't be judged, crticised, accepted and succesful.
The effect this has on you:
You become a shadow of you, you become scared to share your thoughts, feelings and dreams with anyone, for fear of being judged and laughed at.
You hide your dreams and plans for a better life, or to start a business, or to write that book inside a corner of your heart where no one can see it, or heaven forbid, you let it die altogether.
You make yourself feel wrong for wanting something just for you, you feel afraid that if you stand up and say "hey this is what I want", people will leave you, laugh at you or just plain tell you, you can't as you need to be there for everyone else, and other people.
Let me tell you a secret!....You don't have to please everyone else, just you, yes we all have other commitments in life, and at times life can, does, and will throw us some great big curveballs, that may put our plans on hold for a while, but being true to you is your birthright my lovely...
You were not born to be a shadow or mediocre, you my lovely were born to shine, you were born to have big dreams, and to make something in your life count.
We only ever have one life, and one moment in time, now at this very moment, not yesterday, today or tomorrow, just right now... so my lovely don't hide inside yourself, bloom, shine, and dream bigger and brighter than you ever have done before, it's your birthright.
Miss Your Not Good Enough:
Her inner voice: oh we all know this one, the inner mind monkey voice that tells us, you're ugly, stupid, not tall enough, not small enough, to fat, to skinny, lazy and incapable...fill in the blanks....
The oh you're not important so don't bother trying inner voice, the don't try to change anything voice.
You know the mad inner mind monkey voice who sits on your shoulder and says, "you can't do that", "oh and who do you think you are to do that", the voice who says you,ll fail before you've even started voice, the voice that says you,ll never be as good as others who are doing this, so don't even bother trying.
The effect this has on you:
You make yourself feel rubbish, or wrong for wanting to even try, so you spend your time constantly telling yourself that this inner mad little mind monkey is right, and so you agree and talk down to yourself, you lose your focus, your motivation, your self belief, your confidence, and you allow yourself to give up on your dreams.
You let yourself feel numb, and you let those voices in and let yourself believe they are right, and you judge yourself and your world on these inner mind monkey voices.
Let me tell you a secret!... these voices are wrong, they are your mad ego talking, not your true soul self talking, they are your past hurts, fears, and non truths talking, they are not true, and will never be true...
For you my lovely are beautiful, wonderful, amazing, and you can do anything you want to... I believe in the power of you, your heart and your soul, and those dreams of yours, they are worth it and so are you..
Miss Maybe Tomorrow:
Her inner voice: Why are you even thinking of starting your own business, trying to write your book, going back to work, pursing your dreams...fill in the blanks here...
You haven't got the time, besides why would you want to do what someone has already done, made, achieved etc, because they are better than you, and have done it first, who will want what you are offering.
There will be no room for you, as these other people are already really succesful, and you won't ever be as good as they are.
Leave it for now, until you have more experience, until you are more qualified, and right now it's to much work, and you don't have the confidence or the know how to see it through.
The effect this has on you:
You will always stay dreaming about one day, the what ifs, and you won't follw through with anything, your dreams, goals, plans and your vision for your life will never become the reality that you want.
You will keep your work hidden away, yes you will dream about it, but you don't allow yourself to truly go for your soul's desire, you won't be true to you.
This stopping and starting of your dreams makes you feel useless, worthless, scared and vunerable, so you stop dreaming altogether, you stay scared, and you fight your plans for a better life.
You keep getting in your own way, so the dreams you have, the goals, plans and vision for the life you truly want, the being true to the heart and soul of you, never gets to become a reality.
Let me tell you a secret!... we don't have the luxury of yesterday, today or tomorrow, because we never know what is around the next corner, life is short, and we are only ever given just this one moment in time, the moment we are in right at this very second, why waste it by being scared, yes life is scary, our dreams can be too, but if we can dream them, we can achieve them.
We are never given anything in life, we have to make our own destiny, and as my gramps always said, we are not given anything we cannot handle, after all what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger, for you are a longer time dead than alive... true that...
So let's change your mindset today... Here at Lisa Martin HQ, I believe we can manage our inner mind monkey and our own inner critic, so we can be true to ourselves, and lead from our souls rather than our fears.
Because our pasts do not define us, nor do they shame us, we can all learn to embrace our flaws, quirks, fears and how we talk negatively to ourselves.
This gives us a new power, a new sense of wisdom, confidence and clarity in our souls purpose.
So we can use our mindset guides as just that, and we can also learn to overcome our mindset miss-guides so we can go on to uplift, inspire and empower each and every one of us, to be the very best version of ourselves, and so we can be true to the heart and soul of ourselves.
Today let's dream big, bold and brighter than ever, let's make it your reality, to be true to you, to lead, love and live your life, your way, with your soul as your compass.
Contact me today to book in your 15 minute consultation